April 22, 2008

Today was a big day. We started at 5AM for a 6AM check-in for our second surgery. This one was to have sub-cutaneous port placed under the skin so that drugs and injections can be easily administered. She has “difficult” veins when it comes to getting an IV started and since the Chemotherapy is all done via IV, this was the best solution. It took the anesthesiologist FOUR attempts to get the IV placed for the surgery this morning, so this port will spare her from that in the future of this process.

Surgery went fine and took less than an hour. She only had conscious sedation so her recovery time was very quick and we were able to leave the hospital shortly after surgery. At 12:45, just a few hours after surgery, she had her first Chemotherapy session. Her “cocktail” is called “TAC”, which stands for the drugs that comprise the cocktail, T for Taxiter, A for Adriamiacin and C for Cytoxin. The order in which the drugs are administered is A, then C, and finally T. The Adriamiacin is bright red and is administered in a larger syringe. The other two are clear and are administered via a drip. It took about four hours to complete the session.

In addition to the Chemo drugs, she also has three pills that she has to take which are called Emend. The pharmacist kept telling us how expensive these pills were ($300 a piece) – now, I know that’s a bit of money, but our insurance picks up the bulk of it, but he just couldn’t seem to get over the fact that these were three $300 dollar pills and we should be aware of that – he told us three times total. I don’t care how much they cost, I’d pay 10x that if I they work, ya know?

Anyway , we’re staying at her parents house tonight. We got here around 5:40PM and she went strait to bed. She’s very tired and groggy. After about two hours passed she experienced severe nausea, which thankfully seems to have passed at the time I’m writing this, around a 1/4 to 10PM.

This is the last big question mark for how the next 18 weeks of our life is going to be – she’ll be getting a Chemo session every three weeks and will need six total sessions, so 18 weeks. Some side effects build up over time, so some may be more severe by the third or fourth session. She’ll also be taking Nulasta as part of this process. It is designed to stimulate the bone marrow to produce more white blood cells, which will boost her immune system as the Chemotherapy is going to totally wreck it. The biggest side effect of the Nulasta is that it is going to (most likely, anyway) cause moderate (hopefully not severe) bone pain as a result of the stimulation of the bone marrow. On the “improving quality of life” side of drugs she’s taking, EMLA cream is a topical anesthetic that she can put over the port site so that the discomfort/pain of the multitude of injections that will need to be made there will be reduced.

We picked out (she picked out, and I just showed up and agreed) a wig yesterday. It is hand woven human hair. It closely matches her hair colour, but it also has blond highlights. It’s a radical departure of her current hairstyle in that it is strait and above the shoulders, in a bit of a “bob” look. I have to say, when I arrived at the wig shop seeing her in the wig was one of the most uplifting and heart-warming experiences I’ve had in a long, long time. It was the fist time I’ve seen her smile, actually and fully SMILE, since we were diagnosed. It is also the first time since then that she was HAPPY with what she saw when she looked in the mirror and literally spent about 10 minutes looking at herself in the mirror, primping her hair and smiling incessantly.

It was the happiest day I’ve had in recent memory. I just can’t express just how heartwarming it was to see my wife smile again – she looked genuinely happy! I’d pay any amount to have her look in the mirror, wearing a wig, and be happy and confident with whom she saw looking back at her. I’ve been kicking myself for not getting a picture of her – I was just so taken by the moment, a moment of unadulterated joy, that I didn’t even think about anything – I was just enjoying the moment of watching the woman I love be happy again. We’ll have a picture eventually and I’m sure you’re all going to agree that she looks WONDERFUL.